Rebuilding confidence after a Setback: The moment I realized I had outsourced my power

For the woman who feels disconnected from herself — this might be what you need to hear.

There’s a specific kind of setback that doesn’t look dramatic from the outside.

You’re still functioning, showing up and still doing the work but inside, something feels… off.

That’s where I found myself recently, so let me tell you the story

My confidence in my mediumship had quietly dropped. Not because something catastrophic happened or because Spirit disappeared, but because something subtle changed, and I didn’t catch it at first.

The 2 of Cups kept showing up in my readings.

At first, I thought it represented my relationship with Spirit. That maybe something in that connection was unstable, maybe I wasn’t as connected as I thought, or I wasn’t as good as I believed.

But that wasn’t the truth. The truth was much harder, and much more liberating.

I hadn’t lost confidence. I had outsourced it.

When you start letting other people decide who you are

There’s a moment that happens quietly after a setback.

You move from: “I trust myself.”

To: “Am I good enough?”

And if you’re not careful, you shift from being in relationship with your work… to being evaluated by it.

That’s what happened to me.

In mediumship, I went from having a relationship with Spirit, something sacred, mutual, and intimate, to feeling like I was being tested. Like my sitter had the power to decide whether I was “connected” or not.

I gave my confidence away.

The 2 of Cups wasn’t about Spirit doubting me, it was about me breaking the relationship with myself.

The 2 of Cups: The Relationship You Forgot to Protect

The 2 of Cups is often seen as a partnership, union, and connection.

But this time, it wasn’t about romance or another person. It was about self-trust.

It was showing me that the relationship I needed to repair wasn’t external; it was internal.

Confidence isn’t loud, it’s not arrogance, it’s not certainty. It’s intimacy with yourself.

And I had slowly allowed someone else’s response to determine how I felt about my own abilities.

That realization was uncomfortable. But it was also the beginning of rebuilding.

Why women feel disconnected from themselves after setbacks

When something shakes your confidence, a failed project, a difficult conversation, feedback that lands wrong, a client response that rattles you, the mind goes into protection mode.

You start scanning for proof:

• Was I wrong?

• Did I miss something?

• Am I actually capable?

• Have I been pretending this whole time?

And without realizing it, you begin to measure yourself through someone else’s reaction.

This is how disconnection begins, through self-abandonment.

Rebuilding confidence is rebuilding a relationship

Rebuilding confidence after a setback isn’t about affirmations. It’s not about “trying harder and not about proving yourself.

It’s about repairing the relationship with yourself.

For me, that meant asking:

• When did I stop trusting my own knowing?

• When did I start seeking permission?

• When did I decide someone else had authority over my connection?

And most importantly:

• What would change if I brought the power back to me?

The 2 of Cups became an invitation.

Not to improve or perform better, but to return.

How to reconnect with yourself after a confidence drop

If you feel disconnected from yourself right now, here’s where to begin:

1. Notice where you outsourced your power

Did you give someone else’s opinion more weight than your own experience?

2. Separate feedback from identity

One reaction does not define your ability.

3. Ask: “What do I know to be true about myself?”

Not what others confirm. What you know

4. Rebuild intimacy, not performance

Confidence grows in quiet consistency, not in proving.

Confidence was never lost; it was misplaced

The 2 of Cups showed me something I’ll never forget:

Confidence isn’t something you gain; it’s something you protect.

It’s the sacred agreement between you and yourself.

And when you reclaim that agreement, something changes.

You stop performing, stop chasing reassurance, stop asking, “Am I good enough?” and you return to: “I know who I am.”

If you feel disconnected from yourself…

This is exactly the kind of moment I support women through in my intuitive sessions.

Not to tell you who you are and definitely not to decide for you.

But to help you see clearly where you’ve given your power away and guide you back to yourself.

Because rebuilding confidence after a setback isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about remembering who you were before you doubted.

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